Make The Dish or Find The Flavours?

This ‘not a blog’ is not about food. I don’t know much about cooking to be writing an entire article on it. Not to say that I know much about life. But hopefully, one dry metaphor will put forth an interesting enough perspective for you by the end of it all.

I'm going to start by being honest. This was only a recent revelation, but probably a subconscious mindset for long. So yes, I will be biased. Which means it’s for you to take and apply in your life, at your own discretion. But first, what does this metaphor even mean?

You know how when you decide to cook? You choose a dish you want to prepare, maybe search for the right recipe, gather the ingredients, and get going? A lot of us also do the same with life. And though that process works for consistently bringing edible food to the table, I can’t say the same about its success rate with living life.

See, as a resident overthinker, I always get scared of dreaming up this one big vision. Even more so when I hear my friends and loved ones talk about this big detail of their ideal life. Almost like it is that dish they are working hard to make.

Because, my fear is, what if that dish doesn’t appeal to you when you finally have it made? What if that dish doesn’t strike the same chords in your heart as you always dreamed it would do?

What then?

Not to say having one big vision is a bad thing. Maybe not for you. I only see it becoming a scary prospect when someone puts everything on the line for that vision. When they attach the starting point of their life to making (and eating) that dish!

As if only that one dish can fuel them to get started on the journey of 'living their best life.'

So, what’s my alternative? As you may have guessed, it’s got to do a lot with finding the right flavours. The right ingredients if I may say so.

I won’t be the first to say that it’s the small things in life that make up a happy one. The small things that happen often. Like having that 5 min chat with your siblings, or writing for yourself, or waking up early to see the sunrise while you hold a cup of warm coffee in your hand. Or any of the twenty things you could fit into 24 hours days. It's such small details that leave a subtle but stubborn impression.

And deep inside, we know it. We know it’s these small flavours that make our life fun and liveable. The small dedicated periods we devote to ourselves that bring us fulfilment. Not this one big thing that may come true on a distant Wednesday that will make all our past bullshit Wednesdays worthwhile. You know it! That’s rarely the case.

But even though we know that, we don’t really put it to practice.

And I realise this very often. Especially when amazing people who I love and respect, say to me ‘How are you always so happy?’

I’m not! But also, I’m never waiting for this one great thing to happen to make me happy. That yearning just isn’t there. For me, even on my worst days, I try to find ordinary moments of happiness. Recently, on really low days, I found that release through journaling. To know even when I was feeling completely useless, I took one step to make myself feel better. Some days it’s just connecting with an old friend. And on few occasions, it’s been all about finally finishing a book I had been looking forward to reading for long!

Yes, that means I don’t have this one dish I want to make in my life. But I do have a more or less clear idea about the flavours I want to infuse my life with, as often as I can!

The spice of creativity
The sweet warmth of loved ones
The sour and bitter failures that bring textured growth
And the wholesome savoury note of independence 

These are the flavours I look for in my life. Not only for tomorrow but for today. This means, instead of one big meal, I may end up eating several tiny pockets of happiness and fulfilment. As long as I keep finding the ingredients and flavours that make me me.

So, there’s my argument. Don’t have your eye on that one dish you may not even know suits your flavour profile. A better bet would be to find your favourite ingredients that bring your loved flavours to life.

Because, if you don't have an idea about the ingredients you want to use to make the dish of your life, whatever your vision for that dish, it won't ever bring you the right flavour.