Does Such A Thing As An ‘Ideal Life’ Really Exist?

No, it doesn’t.

Instead of making this blog a slow burn that leads to the above-mentioned conclusion, I decided to start strong and honest. What’s going to follow is mostly me unpacking some of my harsh feelings towards the notion of a perfect life that has been buzzing around for a couple of decades, if not more.

I don’t know who first came up with this concept, but I have a strong suspicion it was around the same time our markets became freer, more open, and yet private. Along with disposable income, people’s dreams also took new heights, slowly but steadily pushing the boundaries. To finally reach a point today where practically none exists.

Point to be noted, I have no objection to this at all. I sincerely believe there shouldn’t be a limit to our imagination and dreams. That's exactly what brought us to the Moon and beyond! The problem for me comes when our dreams become more a manifestation of what we consume, or rather what’s sold to us, and less about who we actually are.

To put it more bluntly, ideal life is no more something you build for yourself but something you buy. If you doubt my analysis, look at the last influencer whose story or post you saw on whichever platform. They are selling us this idea! Knowingly or unknowingly, influencers have greatly impacted our perception of the ideal lifestyle and converted it from an aspiration to a mandate. At least that’s how many of those who have been 'influenced' now look at life, including me.

A lot of things have led to this scenario. A major one being the ‘relatability’ factor that most influencers and even some big celebrities 'seem' to possess. Even if they live lives drastically different from ours, messages of “keep hustling”, “I am the same as you”, “if you buy this, do this, follow this, you can be like me too”, and so many more in a similar vein are pushed down on us. Further promoting and selling products and ideas, both wrapped into one tidy package.

I know, I sound very pessimistic. Maybe even anti-influencer. But I’m neither. Just fed up with how most of us fall for this.

And I’m not blaming said folks. I actually respect them. I know how many of them are talented, hard-working individuals who have reached a certain definition of success thanks to their determination and vision. It’s just that the passing and rising wave of influencers has made ‘perfect life’ a trend – one that’s been categorized as a must-have!

Now I know there are a lot of people who also say that there is no specific definition of an ideal life, rather it’s something for everyone to define for themselves and work hard to realize. But while this is a much more positive picture, it still troubles me. Because it pushes the narrative that the possibility of a perfect life is somewhat real. When in reality, the probability is near-zero.

While standards are great at pushing us to achieve the best, when applied to something as unpredictable as one’s life, they can be pretty darn damning. Because let’s admit it, even if we have 80% of things in our control (and that’s as high as this number can go), the 20% that lies in the hands of chance, fate, or whatever you’d like to call it, can become quite cumbersome to deal with. At times even derailing some of our most well-laid-out plans.

Let’s admit it. Life is not perfect. And there is no such thing as a perfect or ideal life. Even in the case of the uber-rich or the influencer whose life we wish to live. The best that exists is a life that’s flawed at points, disappointing sometimes, disheartening at places, but still well-lived. And to me, that’s still a solid one.

On our Instagram page, Blue Dino and I recently posted a story requesting topics for our blog. One response that we got was, “What does an ideal life look like?” And it got me thinking. Apart from a rich, fame-filled, aesthetic, sponsored, prettier than an IG filter, ‘my job is my hobby’ kind of a life that’s usually idealized by all of us nowadays, what other definition would fit my picture of it? And truth be told, all the ideas that ran through my mind were impossible. Because as Avengers Endgame taught us (spoilers alert), even if that one in a 14, 000, 605 chance does come true, the ending will not always be picture perfect. Because life’s meant to be bitter-sweet, and in some places, even all bitter.

I don’t want you to leave this blog all sad and dismayed. The point I want to make is that even though it’s impossible to create a perfect life or live an ideal life, you can still create moments of joy and happiness for yourself. In this case, it pays to be vague. And who knows, someday, while chasing your vague idea of happiness and ‘my best self’, you might create a life, that although you might know to be imperfect, others will view as ‘ideal’. And then, you can let them in on the secret too!