A Matter of Convenience

He climbs up the 23 steps for the fourth time and doubles his count as he makes his way back. If not for the sound of his footsteps, this side of the house would be still and undisturbed.

Ma calls him from a distant room, driven by her maternal-* instinct that a quiet child must surely be up to no good. She would be right to assume that, usually, but not today.

For today, the boy is solemn.

You see, this is the day he turns ten. A number he has been looking forward to reaching for as long as he can remember. But the rightful wish of the now turning ten-year-old has been postponed by another five years. The risk is too high.

Ever since he gained awareness of the world, all he has wanted to do is to go Outside. Not with the helmet on, as he has done a couple of times already, but with a completely naked face.

The first time he went Outside, capped in the silver head suit, he had been a little over four years old. All he recalls from that day is the horrid stink of his own breath trapped in the globe around his face and being told that he had become a big brother to his newly born sister.

The second time was when his sister had to be taken into the clinic. That was also when he had found out about the secret Ma and Papa had kept from him; mind you, it was only one of many.

Since he could not hear or see anything from within the contraption, once he wore the helmet, he relied fully on his parents to guide him Outside. So, in the clinic, when his father had let go of his hand, it had been only natural that he had rushed towards him, his arms stretched upwards. That’s when his fingers had accidentally brushed along Papa’s face.

At home, this would not have been surprising. But this was the Outside, and Papa was not wearing a helmet.

To confirm his suspicions, he had felt around Ma’s dupatta, pulling at it till she had let him touch her face too.

The feeling of betrayal had rung true in his loud cries that had died trapped in the headgear.

Once back home, to console him, his parents had finally told him their secret; they were special. They did not need the helmet to keep them safe from the Outside radiation.

Since that day, all he had wanted was to turn ten so they could test him for similar immunity.

But yesterday, as he had excitedly waited for the day to end, Papa had told him that the testing age had been raised to 15.

So, you see, today was not going to be the fun birthday he had planned for.

He makes his way up the stairs for the sixth time. Yesterday’s news continues to feed his disappointment.

Add to that, Aasha, his only real companion, has not been keeping well. She has shut herself in her room following Ma’s suggestion that she take her time and space to recuperate. This also means that she is not available to make him his favourite annual coconut flavoured birthday cake.

This is going to be a terrible birthday indeed.

***

He first met Aasha exactly one day after he had worn the helmet for the third and last time.

Papa had received a promotion and had decided that it was time to move to a bigger house. So, they had travelled all the way to the other end of the town to reach the large dome that shut off their new home and the accompanying lawn from the Outside. Once settled in, Ma had told them about the new person who would be joining their family. The next day they had been introduced to Aasha.

He still remembers seeing her for the first time – thin, lifeless and barely smiling.

But now, she smiled all the time.

***

He rushes over to the kitchen, recognising the annoyance in Ma’s voice, who clearly has no more patience left for the birthday boy.

She stands elbow-deep in cake batter, looking down helplessly at Sapna who is waddling in the spilt flour across the floor.

This is why Aasha has become so essential to their everyday life.

He helps Sapna into the kid seater and starts to leave, only to be interrupted by Ma. He turns around and sees her holding out a wooden ladle towards him, motioning him to help her beat the chunks of chocolate into the mix.

On any other day, he would have been a little reluctant to rebel, but today is his birthday and he has no plans of tiring himself out by making his own birthday cake. So, safe in the knowledge that Ma isn’t going to chase him down with batter dripping down her hands, he runs out to return to the same desolate corner of the house he had been in just a few minutes ago.

The next hour or so is spent designing an imaginary maze on their tiled floor which he must figure his way out of.

Those who have never lived their lives stuck inside may be perplexed to see a young boy continue to find new sources of amusement within a few numbered walls. But the rest of us who have lived this life know there’s little to complain about, especially when you have not lived any other way.

Which is why, though not happy, he is content with his life. He is content with not having physically met a single person his age, not having played any team sport, and even with having lived most of his life in a virtual setting. None of these things bother him. The only thing that does bother him is the fear that he is not as special as his parents are.

All he wants and all he has ever wanted is to be like them.

At least that’s what he believes and that’s what he constantly thinks about as he plays one made-up game after another.

***

Ma sets the dining table with what she believes to be a decent looking cake. It lays adorned with ten red candles. Sapna has also been dressed for the occasion and is sitting in the chair farthest from the dish, though her hands still try to reach out for a taste.

All this while, he waits by the door for Papa’s return. It is almost an hour past his usual time when Papa walks in carrying a big box, which is quickly revealed to be containing the best coconut cake any baker Outside has to offer.

Ignoring Ma’s exclaims and the shushed argument that ensues between his parents, he takes the box and quickly delivers it to the table. The cake looks perfect!

Ma, who is slightly miffed, transfers the red candles from her afternoon’s work, while everyone gathers around for the cake cutting ceremony. He carves out the biggest piece for himself and cuts another large piece for Aasha, setting it aside for Ma to bring to her later.

The joy of being celebrated along with the taste of his favourite flavour on his tongue helps him let go of the anger he has been holding onto since last night. With a full tummy, he excitedly tells Papa about Sapna and her stint with the flour.

***

Ma clears the plates and looks on as her eldest kid excitedly relays one story after another to his father. She looks at the large slice of cake he has set apart, larger than what he had given to her, and can’t help but sigh.

For a moment she considers throwing it away and regrets it immediately. But she couldn’t go to Aasha, especially not with a cake. Maybe if the birthday boy himself took it to her, she might feel better?

And so, the responsibility shifts to him, who is all too eager to share a few moments of his special day with his closest confidante.

He tentatively skips over to her room, careful with his offering and pauses at the door to give a customary knock before rushing inside.

Aasha lies occupying a tiny corner of her queen size bed. It looks like she has lost all the weight she had come to gain over the last couple of years. She sees his face gleaming back at her and finds her own lips curving up.

She had missed the boy this last week. He was her freedom in more ways than one, neither of which she could honestly express to him. And seeing him tonight had rekindled a dying light inside her.

She sees the cake and fights back an urge to retch, inviting him closer till he is seated beside her. There is so much she wants to say, but it will have to wait.

The next half hour is spent catching up on all things mundane yet out of his normal routine. He tells Aasha about the new games he invented since they last met, and she promises to play the same with him; “once I feel better”, she says.

There is no point crushing his spirits. She wouldn’t do that to him, not today.

But she waits patiently, knowing what is to come.

And as most of their conversations do, this time too, it gradually reaches the topic of Outside.

And just like that, she finds her opening.

***

He is overjoyed.

Aasha had once in passing mentioned that she knew how to tell if someone was immune to the radiations or not, simply by assessing a few things. But despite him asking repeatedly, she had never told him what those indicators were. Not until today.

He had used the excuse of it being his birthday and sprinkled in some pleadings till she had folded.

Which was why he was now walking by the paved pathway leading from his house, through the lawn, and to the main gateway, beyond which he was not allowed to go.

But today, the gate was finally going to serve its purpose and let him through to the Outside.

Aasha had told him he was immune, and he never knew her to be wrong.

***

The first thing that hits him is the stench, and he pauses for a second, fearing that the smell must be a consequence of the radiation. Maybe he isn’t immune, contrary to what Aasha believes.

Just as he is about to turn, his eyes adjust to the light-less path in front of him. He sees the darker outlines of people approaching. They are all without helmets. This gives him hope. But as they come closer, the smell intensifies, almost engulfing his insides.

Two men and a woman stand before him, dressed in clothes that barely hang together, as unclean as the ones wearing them. They look like half-eaten shells of themselves, all bones, and no meat.

He stands paralysed, not knowing if it’s the radiation or the sudden anxiety that renders him incapable.

They ask him if he knows Aasha.

Aasha! Maybe she had asked them to meet him Outside.

He nods, unsure of what will happen next. As they approach him, he can’t help but gag, the smell becoming more unbearable in the proxim

ity. They pause, just for a moment and then carefully sweep him off his feet, in a matter of seconds, covering his mouth with their rough unclean hands.

He does not fight as they run through the darkness and then a poorly lit lane where he sees bodies strewn all around, some sleeping and some dead. As they continue their run, he watches upon an abandoned city, that only decades ago may have held some hope. Captured more by the sights than by his captors, he finally realises that he is immune to the radiation if there is even such a thing. As they widen the unbridgeable distance between him and his home, he makes peace with the fact that Outside isn’t what he thought it would be like.

Back in the bungalow where his rich and privileged family live, Aasha attends a call and smiles her first genuine one in years, knowing that she has given her family their last ray of hope. Turning to one side, she peacefully breathes her final.

One floor below, Ma’s ears prick as she waits to hear the one sound that she will never hear again.

She is sure, her unusually quiet boy is up to no good.

*****