Up
- Red Dino
- Jan 15, 2022
- 12 min read
Updated: Oct 13, 2022
“They’re like training wheels. You know the ones the city kids use? They keep their bikes up–“
“–I know what training wheels are!”
She didn't mean to snap at him, but in her defense, well there was no defense really. He didn't deserve it.
“I'm sorry.”
He shrugged.
“It's okay. I know it can be frustrating, but they are there for your safety. Just like me.” His playful wink softened her mood a bit. She returned the smile. “And it doesn't hurt that they are so beautiful.”
He walked to the edge of the cliff and extended his hands outward, trying to figure out the mood of the wind above and the state of the waves below.
She looked at the wings sprouting from her back like two wildflowers. Yes, they were pretty, but only to an untrained eye. All she saw in them was the brutal message of her own failure, her inadequacy.
She stretched them far, prepping herself for flight. She hoped to see them fall off this time; to fly unencumbered, to fly free.
***
“It looks good. There is life in the air today, and the waves are small; they will make for a soft landing.” She knew he was putting it lightly. By landing, he meant crashing. And it was never soft. But she was adamant about not falling today. All she had to do was figure how not to.
She flexed her wings and tried to muster weightlessness within herself. The weight in the pit of her core felt lighter than yesterday, but she didn't know for how long she could hold onto that feeling. He walked back to her and looked her straight in the eyes.
“You can do it. Have no doubt. Okay?” She saw the belief in his eyes but knew her own were reflecting the opposite. Still, she nodded vigorously, showing her assent. He wasn't fooled. But he didn't call her out on it.
“I will be waiting for you on the beach.”
He kissed her on the forehead and went to stand behind her. Giving her enough space for a proper start-off.
With his eyes on her back and dragons in her stomach, she ran with all her might, only one thing on her mind.
***
She could feel the strength in her legs, the tips of her fingers were electric with the expectation of what was to come. As the edge of the cliff neared, she closed her eyes and jumped.
For a second, she didn't feel a thing. And then, a voice. “Woohoo!” She smiled and opened her eyes. She didn't need to look back to know that he was jumping with joy, alone on the cliff, rooting for her; beaming with pride at the leap she had taken.
And what a leap it had been! She knew this was the highest she had ever gone. The air was thinner, quieter, and so were the dragons. They were almost asleep. She looked around and then down at the sea. The calmness of the monster below had begun to frenzy.
The sea had noticed her and was starting to extend its arms, trying to grab her, calling out her name.
She summoned all her will and whispered to the reaching blue:
“Not now. Not just yet.”
***
Usually, by this point she would have to will herself, push herself to hold on to the feeling of flight. But not today. It was almost as if she was a part of the wind. Her wings were silent; they had folded, not completely, but a little. Something she had not experienced before. And so, she did what she would not normally do, she relaxed. And she felt her body go faster. She moved upwards, reaching a height both new and exhilarating. There were many a first she was experiencing today, and she couldn't be happier. But as luck would have it, just as she was getting comfortable, she noticed a speck flying towards her. She knew what it was- a damn seagull! To stop the impending collision, she tried to swerve herself. But the tension in her body did the one thing she dreaded the most. It started her falling. She closed her eyes as her wings started opening, acting as parachutes, slowing her fall towards the now ecstatic sea. And while she knew they would soon close around her, protecting her from the harshest blows of the monster below, she couldn't help but wish for them to disappear.
***
Splash!
Her crash was deafening. And once in the water, it became worse.
Suddenly, everything was quiet. The only thing she could hear was the silent laughter of the sea. The monster was proud, overjoyed, and fulfilled, the exact opposite of what she was. All she wanted to do was give in to the enormity and simply sink. But her wings were now acting like float boards, hoisting her up.
The second her head broke the surface of the water and her lungs stretched wide to take in oxygen, her wings started fluttering, pleased at their own performance. She wanted to rip them apart. But she didn't have any energy left. The dragons within her had awakened. They were rejoicing her failure, celebrating the success of the sea monster and her flying buddies.
Great! Her own body was determined to see her fail. No wonder she couldn't aim high. She surrendered herself to the waves of shame and disgust that were rolling on the inside. With her eyes closed and mind in fury, she settled into the warm embrace of her wings. As expected, she could hear the faint rumblings of the arriving motorboat. And only one thought passed her mind, the day couldn't get any worse.
***
He hoisted her up. The second she was on the boat, her wings folded. Secure on her back. Calm, now that their job was done. For the day at least. He handed her a blanket and started the boat to go back to the mainland. Point to note unlike her, his mood had not dampened. “That was amazing! I have never seen you fly like that. You almost had it!” Almost. The word rolled over her as the waves had moments ago. Almost. It was always almost. Never more.
“Yup. It was great.”
She tried to say it with some amount of enthusiasm. But sarcasm seeped through. “Hey. It's okay. It was a step in the right direction. You'll get there.” She nodded. Taking in a deep breath, she tried to steady her mind. After all, it was all a matter of mind over matter, right? She couldn't lose herself to despondency.
“Yes. Next time will be better.”
This time, she said it with a little more gusto. Affirming his statement while willing herself to believe it too. Trying to convince herself of the one thing that she was growing more and more unsure of with each passing day. Pushing down feelings of doubt and uncertainty, she stared straight ahead, wind in her face. Trying to focus on the roaring of the sea that was starting to wane, as they got closer to the warm gaze of the land that stood steadfast, awaiting the return of its children now fast approaching.
***
It had been 2 weeks since her last flight training and things had been busy, for everyone on the island.
The ravagers had returned, looting every village and store they could get their hands on. Thankfully, the damage hadn’t been too great, and no islander had been harmed. But the clash had only just begun. While she knew the warriors would never let the invaders win, she also felt guilty, at her own limited ability to help.
Which was why she was standing atop the cliff, preparing herself for a flight that, spirits willing, would prove to be a win.
But there was a problem, she didn’t have him with her to assess the weather conditions.
“So, what!”, she thought to herself, she had seen him in action. Replicating the checks wasn’t going to be that hard.
Walking up to the edge, she repeated the moves she had seen him make a hundred times before. Hands outward, eyes down. The breeze was slightly less than optimum, but still in her favor. As for the sea below, it appeared to be sleeping, serene now that its ravagers were at work.
She nodded to herself; the situation looked better than expected. But as a safety measure, she clipped the alarm charm to her T-shirt. If anything went wrong, he would know.
With that, she took ten steps back and braced herself.
Yes, it was her first time doing this alone, but she also felt a strange sense of confidence and an eerie feeling that this was all going to work out.
Taking in a deep breath, she took her first step and then another, till her feet were above the ground and she was in the air. And there was nothing but relief.
***
As the initial euphoria died down, she felt a ping of sadness creeping up. While she flew straight, cutting through the air like an arrow, not having anyone around as a witness to her prowess was disheartening, to say the least.
But there was a silver lining.
She was not just alone on the outside, but on the inside too. The dragons were gone. Not silent but gone. In many flight practices, she had noticed their presence diminish, their bustle quit down to a faint rumble, but never before had she had the pleasure of experiencing their pure and total absence. And this was when she knew, they were not going to return.
With a newfound sense of self, she pushed herself, zooming faster than before. Her eyes had begun to water, but even without a clear vision, she knew her wings were closing. Completely. It was time. It was finally time!
As she waited with bated breath for her dreams to come true, she felt a sharp ache on the side of her ribs, and then her entire body screamed with pain. For a minute, she thought it was her fear returning, bringing back with it her failure. But she wasn’t that lucky.
Because the source of the pain wasn’t internal, but rather tied to the ropes that were dragging her down.
It wasn’t the fall she had braced herself for, no, she was being pulled down. And on the other end of the rope, a ravager.
***
Her wings were still. And however much she tried, they didn’t budge.
She struggled to free herself, but the ropes only tightened. Looking around for a source of help, she noticed that the sea had awakened, thrilled at the action that was now underplay. But nothing else came to sight. She thought she saw a tiny speck in the sky, far away in the distance, but it soon disappeared. Was it a mirage? She didn’t have time to double-check. All she could do was hope that the alarm charm had worked.
With every passing second, her body was drawing closer and closer to the submarine upon which stood her captor. She needed to act fast. Thankfully, she had a trick up her sleeve.
She bode her time and continued to resist as hard as she could, forcing the ravager to use all his might. Then, when she was close enough to count the number of sweat beads on the man’s face, she let go. Her fight, her flight both stopped without a moment’s notice, and she was yanked down hard, catching her opponent off guard.
He fell hard on his back and she on him. While every inch of her body was engulfed in pain, she didn’t waste her chance. She rolled off him and used all her strength to kick him hard, pushing him towards the edge of the submarine.
Her ploy worked! The ravager fell towards the fiery blue and was pulled under by the sea. If there was one thing to be said about the monster, it was unforgiving to the weak.
She stared at the wild nature of the beast surrounding her and felt a new breed of fear take hold. For a moment, she was left paralyzed; imprisoned by the authority of the sea. But then a voice shook her awake.
She looked up to see him flying towards her. And her spirits soared.
***
The knife landed next to her feet. She quickly grabbed it with one hand and began cutting the rope.
He landed next, but past her and some 20 feet away. For a moment, confusion took over, but then she saw why.
Two ravagers were making their way out of the submarine and heading towards her. In her frightened state, she had missed spotting them. Thankfully, he was here.
She had seen him in practice sessions before, even with his slight frame, he was a born fighter. But these were ravagers, and he was outnumbered. He was going to need her by his side.
She quickened her pace and felt a few slashes on her own skin, but she kept going.
On the other end of the submarine, the battle had commenced.
The two ravagers had their spears out, ready to capture or kill. As for him, while armless, he was purposeful and agile. His speed took them by surprise.
They charged at him with full strength, their spears aimed straight, but he always managed to move out of harm’s way. Each time, striking a blow on the ravagers, making them stumble, slowing their speed.
But he was growing weaker too, his speed faltering here and then. A couple of times he almost got nicked by one of the spears, but he never gave them a chance to break through his defense.
And then, a breakthrough!
The rope fell loose. Free, she jumped to her feet. The sudden movement made her head spin, but she didn’t stop. Striding forward, she entered the battle scene, knife in hand and fire coursing through her veins.
***
The moment she entered the battlefield, it was clear to the wind, the sea, and the sky, that the tides had turned. Because when it came to combats, there weren’t many built like her. Because unknown to the ravagers, she had spent her whole life mastering the fight. In her attempt to outrun her failure, to hide the shadow that had been cast by her wings, she had spent hours of her life in some mock and some very real combats. Unable to fly, she had learned to fight.
And so, when she did enter the battle, he gave her the space she needed, and together, they dealt blow after blow, wrecking the ravagers. Until the spears fell to the depths of the roaring blue and only two remained standing.
But they both knew, while they had won, they were certainly not in the clear; there could be more ravagers around.
“We need to get out of here.”
She nodded in agreement. But she also knew there was only one way out of this mess, one she wasn’t all too comfortable with.
He looked around and did his regular checks.
“Right. This isn’t going to be an easy one, but I think we can make it work.”
She wasn’t sure about that.
He picked the rope that she had minutes ago cut herself free from and walked up to her.
“We’re going to fly and it’s going to be okay.”
***
In all her previous tries, she had always jumped from the cliff to get the full advantage of the height and the high winds. But this time, she didn’t have any of those factors playing for her. On top of it, the sea was right there, luring her in, pushing her to fail and fail and then again.
Yes, she was for sure not ready for this. But there wasn’t really an option.
And thankfully, there was a plan.
He had taken the longest intact piece of the rope and tied one end around her waist, secured at the back, and the other around his own, secured at the front. After that, it was simple. They positioned themselves at the far end of the submarine and ran with all their might. Him first and her, close at his heels.
As they neared the jumping point, he called out to her.
“Ready?”
She mustered all the courage and will that she could.
“As ever!”
And then, they jumped.
***
His flight, as always, was guaranteed. As soon as his feet were off the submarine, he shot straight up, his hands wrapped tightly around the rope at his end. But when she jumped, she had a brief second of panic as she felt herself fall and saw the sea open its mouth wide, ready to devour her. But the fear lasted only a moment. For the next, she was pulled up by him, the rope pressing hard against her stomach. She yelped from the pain, blinded by it, but his screams cut through, drawing her attention.
She looked up to see his face red with the strain of pulling her along, the rope taut and on the verge of tearing, and his words finally made their way to her.
“For bloody sake, at least try!”
Right!
As he continued to focus on keeping both him and her airborne, she directed her energies inward. It was difficult to invoke weightlessness, but she had tasted its peak right before being attacked by the one unlucky ravager. And so, she knew where to go looking for it. But she was worried it would take too long, and they didn’t have time to spare.
Suddenly, she felt her stomach relax and the sharp pain diluted. She opened her eyes in surprise, half expecting to see a friend flying beside him. But the friends were much closer than expected. Her wings had opened up wide and were flapping with great strength and gusto, helping her at her worst.
She laughed out loud. Never had she seen wings do that before. In flight they usually stayed tucked, ready to act as parachutes. But here they were, as always, defying expectations!
This time around, she knew better than to curse them. Working along with her wings and the man above, she concentrated on her own flight and to her pleasure, found it soon enough.
As the gap between him and her lessened, and her wings continued to beat with excitement and purpose, she called out to no one in particular.
“Shall we go up?”
*****
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