We Call Bullshit | The Notion of 'Guilty Pleasure'

I like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

There! I said it.

In fact, why stop at that? I like most of the 90’s Shah Rukh Khan films (not to mention movies from the following decades), as cheesy as they were. I was sold through them all! From the time he jumped off the helicopter and ran to his mansion with wind blow-drying his hair, to his slick moves in Dard-e-disco, and even still in his wimpy avatar in Chennai Express when he tried hard to escape the antics of his pretend-wife (remember Deepika’s iconic ‘Thangabali...kitta varade’?).

He has had my heart ever since I first saw him and he will have it forever.

But I'm not going to ramble on about my love for this man. This is just me announcing a personal preference (crush) on the internet, for the world to know.

And no, I’m not classifying it as my guilty pleasure!

Because frankly my dear, I ain’t guilty about it.

Which brings me to what I really wanted to address through this 'not a blog.' And it's also something I have wanted to say to too many people for quite some time. So here goes...

What is this nonsensical notion of ‘guilty pleasure’?!

guilty pleasure

an activity or piece of media that someone enjoys but would be embarrassed by if other people found out about it.

Let alone the fact that the term in itself is an oxymoron; how have we come to a place where we feel guilty, and in some cases even shameful of the idea that a particular thing brings us joy and happiness?

If I had a penny for every time someone prefaced their declaration of a favorite pastime by saying, “It’s a guilty pleasure, so don’t judge me for it”, I would be rich enough to invite SRK to my wedding (only so I could elope with him instead!)

I know, it’s just a ‘fun’ term! To some, it is just that. But I also know, for many people that ‘fun’ term often becomes a way of describing an interest that is not going to reach the high standard set by everyone else. And that's what I have a problem with. The direct correlation of the seemingly innocent words with feelings of shame and fear of judgment.

You can't deny this. The reason we define something as a guilty pleasure is that we feel the need to excuse this preference. Because there must be something wrong with me for liking this trashy piece of work. Better state my guilty conscience outright!

But why really? Just because no one else relates to our individual experience? Isn’t an individual’s experience supposed to be just that - individual?

Forget my personal dilemma with that terminology. Think for yourself. Every time you sit down to read that book which is considered ‘oh so bad’, or watch that movie that is regarded as a complete cringe-fest, do you not limit your own level of happiness? As your mind sits occupied with shades of embarrassment, even as you indulge in an activity that brings you joy!

How absurd is that really?

The reason ‘guilt’ became such a big part of our evolution was that we needed to feel bad about doing something that might harm us, or reduce our group’s chances of survival. But as time wore on, the concept of ‘guilt’ crept into more aspects of our lives. And honestly, it has trickled into some places where it just doesn’t belong!

Especially when it comes to our personal happiness.

When I sit down to watch Dil To Pagal Hai for the 100th time, I know I’m doing it solely for myself. To dance to its tunes and fall in love, the same way I did when I was 10.

But that really can’t continue to happen if every time I decide to get my soulful fill of the film, I can only think about what people will think of me, or how they would judge me for it. Because at that moment, we aren’t just giving society the power to judge us, but also judging our own selves. And ain’t that a pity?

I still remember when I first told my friends I love watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Not ironically, but genuinely (it still makes me forget all my problems when I look at these highly superficial yet relatable people lead their reel real lives). And after a few gasps and snickers, we somehow just ended up chatting about the latest episodes. Gossiping as though the Kardashians were one of ourselves!

And this other time when I unabashedly told a bunch of colleagues that I was spending most of my nights catching up on the latest season of Big Boss. They were quick to jeer at me, as politely as they could. But again, within a few minutes, most of us were down discussing the dirty! Forgetting all the stigma attached to the show!!

When I think back to these moments, it really makes me think; when we denote something as being a ‘guilty pleasure’ do we somehow take away its power of bringing people together? Because if not for that tag, we all would freely be talking about a host of things that we otherwise like to keep hidden, as though a secret part of our identity.

But hey! I haven’t told you my biggest beef with this terminology yet!

Guilt is the engine designed to discourage the power of an individual, lending it all to the almighty ‘group.’ When you think about it in this context, do you really want to strip yourself of your power - your individuality? Wouldn’t you rather just take the pleasure, throw away the guilt, and feel bloody empowered?

I know I feel that way every time I tell society, “I don’t care what you think. My pleasure, my choice!”

Which is why, I hope the next time you pick up a Chetan Bhagat novel or sing aloud to Meghan Trainer, or partake in whatever it is you (used to) define as a guilty pleasure, you do it proudly.

And you can take my word, whenever I force my loved ones to watch DDLJ with me, I will do so heart-eyed, drool-faced, and with my head held high!